Drenched
by CullensTwiMistress
Summary: No amount of cleansing could wash away the guilt I feel, but hopefully someday I will earn her forgiveness. AH; ExB; HS fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Drenched**

**No amount of cleansing could wash away the guilt I feel, but hopefully someday I will earn her forgiveness. ExB; Drabble-ish; Romance/Angst; NC-17.**

**I own nothing.**

**…**

**Drench: deluge, drown, flood, immerse, saturate, seethe, soak, submerge.**

* * *

1.

_"Yo, E. Are you coming to Alice's party tonight?"_ Jasper asks as soon as I answer my phone.

I've been back from summer vacation for less than 48 hours and I'm already being hassled to go to some lame-ass party.

"I don't know, man, I'm still jet lagged for the trip. Why is she having a party now anyways? Why not next weekend when school starts, and she can invite the entire student body?"

He sighs, and I hear him moving around and shuffling some things._ "Something about her cousin moving into town and wanting to meet new people."_

I roll my eyes, disinterested in hearing about Alice's stupid cousin. Poor schmuck, he has no idea what he's in for.  
Forks isn't the kind of place you move to, it's the kind of hellhole you move out of as soon as you have that diploma in your hands.

"Fine, whatever. I'll see you there." I figure I might as well get another party under my belt before school starts.

Getting shitfaced while jet lagged is like killing two birds with one stone. If I'm going to feel like shit, might as well do it thoroughly.

_"Alright, dude. See ya there then."_

I have no idea what kind of hell I'm actually walking into.

…

Moving is a sadistic bitch on heroin.

...

* * *

**So... I have no patience... I've got 25 chapters written, 17 of them already beta'd. Update schedule, how about we try 3 per week? M, W, F, how does that sound?**

**Let me know...**

**xox**

**Missy**


	2. Chapter 2

2.

Alice Brandon has always had a knack for throwing the wildest parties.

She has a huge house, lots of money, and divorced parents that are easily manipulated into letting her do whatever the fuck she wants.

Lucky bitch.

I walk in and survey the house, looking for Jasper.

Tyler and Lauren are in a corner, eating each other's faces off; Mike, Emmett and Eric are playing beer pong; and Jasper is talking to Alice and Rose.

Bingo.

"Hey, Cullen. Finally made it, eh?" Jasper tips his beer and bumps my shoulder with his.

"Yeah, figured I'd get one more party in before school starts."

"I want you to meet my cousin." Alice looks behind me and I turn to follow her gaze. "This is Bella. Bella, this is Edward Cullen."

I stand there like an idiot and stare at the girl before me. Her wide brown eyes go from soft to angry and back to some indescribable emotion before she opens her mouth.

"Edward," she sneers. "Funny, when you were fucking my brains out at the beach last week, you said your name was Embry."

My mouth closes and opens as I gape at her like the idiot I've proven to be. No words come out of my mouth as she turns and storms out of the house.

…

Fuck me and fuck that asshole, Edward Cullen.

…

* * *

**A few things, first off, THANK YOU SO FREAKING MUCH! Seriously, your response has been amazing! I will try to respond to reviews but I've been trying to write for some compilations as well as finishing this and A Life Less Ordinary, just know that I read and apreciate your words!**

**Secondly, I completely forgot to thank my girls for their support. If it weren't for them, this would truly suck. WitchyVampireGirl and Itlnbrt, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, seriously, you girls rock! :o)**

**Third and lastly, the heroin comment from the last chapter was a quote, meaning that moving was truly hard and a pain in the ass. There is no drug use in this fic. And I'm sure you can now guess how this will work and who's line is at the bottom...**

**See y'all Monday!**

**xox**

**Missy**


	3. Chapter 3

3.

**_Four weeks earlier..._ **

Vacationing with your parents is fun until you get to be around the age of fifteen, then you discover that they are kind of boring and you'd rather be getting shitfaced with your buddies or trying to get into some girl's pants.

I'm in hell.

Mom had insisted I had to go with them for this one last family vacation before my senior year of high school.

Something about wanting to spend time with me before I leave the nest.

What the fuck ever. I'm bored to tears on day two, and by day three, I'm ready to take a bullet to the head before doing any more site seeing.

No offence to anyone that lives in Maine, but this place is boring as shit.

I've been walking down the beach minding my own business and trying to get away from my parents when I stumble upon her.

She has her back to me, but the sight is pure perfection. Her long brown hair is pulled up into a messy bun giving me a nice view of her long elegant neck. Her tank clings to her body like a second skin while her shorts are so short, I can see her ass cheeks peeking out begging to be squeezed.

When she turns to face me, her eyes instantly rake over my body and a small smirk graced her features.

I have her, hook line and sinker without even uttering a word.

Some chicks are just too fucking easy.

Now this could be a nice summer vacation.

…

He appears out of nowhere and he is exactly the distraction I need.

…

* * *

**Wednesday?**

**xox**

**Missy**


	4. Chapter 4

4.

"Hey," she says, batting her lashes and smiling coyly.

Too easy.

A distraction.

I'm stuck at my aunt's cottage for the next few weeks. Meeting some chick and fooling around a little would be a great way to spend my time while mom and dad do...whatever the fuck it is they do.

Even if it's not exactly what I want. It would be nice to be someone different for a little while. Maybe for a few weeks.

I smile and let my eyes wander, taking in every inch of exposed flesh. "Hey."

"You here on vacation?" she asks, taking a tentative step toward me.

I nod. "Yeah. You?"

"Yeah. I'm Bella." She sucks in her bottom lip and looks up to meet my eyes.

In that moment, I know I have to keep her at arms length. A chick like that, beautiful and enticing, could easily be the end of me.

It's not like I'm ever going to see her again.

This is nothing, and if it turns into something, it's only a cross country summer fling.

But I have a soft spot. I like relationships and just can't wrap my head around the point of a quick fuck. I've tried and failed, ending up with girls that just weren't right for me.

So I do what I do best, I look her in the eye, smirk, and lie my ass off. "Embry. Embry Call."

I can be an actor, step out of myself and just be someone else for a few weeks.

No attachment. No real name.

That could work, right?

…

Easy on the eyes; hard on the heart. I can do this.

…

* * *

**Wednesday? Yes, this time you'll have to wait for Wednesday...**

**I just needed to clarify a few things that keep coming up in reviews. Please note that some chapters are longer than others (between 200-500 words). ****Also, trust... appearances are often deceiving... ;o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	5. Chapter 5

5.

Two days later, she's still at that same spot on the beach. I can't pretend I don't see her so I walk up to her to gauge her reaction.

I made the decision to lie to her and I don't like it.

But I can't go back.

So I hid for the last two days.

I'm a coward. A pussy. An asshole. The gum beneath her shoe.

I hate myself for lying, but then I reasoned that my chances of running into her again were slim to none.

But there she is in that same spot.

Wearing next to nothing again.

Turning me on with a simple soft smile.

I brush up against her, the hairs on my arm prickling with her lingering heat as I walk past her, needing to touch her somehow. Innocently.

Soft, warm skin smelling of sunshine and saltwater as the wind whips her hair in the breeze.

She follows me down the beach, wordless as our eyes meet briefly.

"Were you avoiding me?" she asks once we're in a secluded spot surrounded by long grass and high rocks.

I duck my head and swallow. "No, of course not. I don't even know you."

She brings her hand to my chest and looks up at me from under her lashes and asks, "Would you like to get to know me?"

There's not much I can say. I want to get to know her, and that's the problem. This is nothing. This can't be anything.

So I do what she obviously wants me to do, I cup her cheeks and kiss her.

Her lips are soft and compliant, and when she whimpers, I slip my tongue past her eager lips and tangle it with hers.

There's urgency and need in our kiss as her hands explored my body. She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me closer while I attempt at being somewhat of a gentleman and keep my hands safely anchored to her neck and cheeks.

…

Warm, soft, slick, bottle green and sunshine.

…

* * *

**Friday?**

**Thank you for all the nice words :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	6. Chapter 6

6.

We meet every day around the same time, in the same spot.

She's beautiful and I love kissing her.

Her hands roam my body freely while I try to keep mine to myself, but after the second day, she takes my hand and places it on her tit, inviting me to touch her.

And I do. Greedily. Her tits are awesome. And when I wrap my lips around her nipples and flick my tongue over them, she squeaks and makes these noises that make me so damn hard, I can hardly stand it.

At first, I took care of it once I got home but on day three, she takes matters into her hands and mouth, and dammit if it's not the best blowjob I've ever had.

Not wanting to be selfish, I slip my hands down the front of her shorts and make her gasp and shudder until the name "Embry" falls off of her lips from the ecstasy I'm able to draw from her body.

And every time she says it, something inside of me dies a little bit.

When we're not fooling around, we swim and explore the beach.

And then we explore each other because it seems we can't keep ourselves from doing that.

I love the taste of her on my tongue and the way her thighs feel wrapped around my neck. It's so intimate to do this with her, but I love the way it makes her body react. Her moans and noises echo in my ears, and her hands in my hair urging me on as she lets herself come apart, make me feel slightly less like an asshole.

Every day it's something different - something amazing.

She doesn't ask where I'm from. She doesn't ask about my aunt or my parents. She doesn't know anything about me except my name. Well actually, she doesn't even know that. All she truly knows about me is how many times I've made her come with my mouth or my fingers.

In return, I do the same. I ask nothing about her life.

It's selfish and wrong, but it feels so good.

This is a fling and I don't want to get attached.

All I know is that every afternoon, she's there, dressed in barely nothing and willing to touch me like nobody else ever has.

…

Feelings get in the way of everything. He will ruin me.

…

* * *

**Monday?**

**Thank you for the nice words. I love them all. :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	7. Chapter 7

**It's Monday somewhere. I own nothing.**

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7.

One afternoon, she tells me about a fair going on downtown.

It's within walking distance from our spot, so we go.

There are rides and games.

Cheap teddy bears and loud music.

We spend our time together there, walking around and riding some rusty rickety old rides. Just generally having a good time.

She laughs at me for not wanting to go on the Zipper, and I make sure to win her the biggest, tackiest stuffed animal I can find.

I hold her and kiss her temple.

She curls into my side and gives me the sweetest smile.

It feels like time just stops when we're together, but at some point reality is going to come crashing in on us and it'll be sooner than later.

I've gotten her to call me "E" because I can't stand this Embry character I've created.

He's not me. This guys she's with is Edward.

And I like her so much, thinking about leaving her and going back home kills me.

So I watch her face light up as some clown does a magic trick, and I revel in her soft touches and sideways glances.

I kiss her softly and squeeze her hands, before saying goodbye and promising to see her tomorrow.

…

I wish all the dates I'd gone on were half as good as spending one hour with him.

…

* * *

**Wednesay?**

**You guys rock with the reviews. I swear I'll get to replying, I'm just really swamped with RL and I figure updates are probably more important. Just know that I read and love each and every one!**

**xox**

**Missy**


	8. Chapter 8

**I own nothing.**

* * *

8.

We're kissing and kissing and kissing. My hand has found its favorite place under her flimsy T-shirt and her fingers are in my hair.

I pull away and look at her face. She's all smiles and beautiful. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"

She rolls her eyes. "We're already fooling around, Embry. You don't have to say that."

My eyebrows knit together; I don't like hearing her say things like that about herself. "Bella, you are beautiful," I emphasize, kissing her skin between each word. I take my hand out from under her shirt and run my fingers down her cheek and her neck. Her skin is so soft under my touch. "Don't let anyone tell you differently." I lean down and press a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. "You're beautiful, Bella."

Her lips curl into a small smile. "You're not so bad yourself, Embry."

I close my eyes, unable to let her see the deception in them and lean down to capture her lips with mine.

We resume our make-out session until it starts raining and we both make a run for our respective homes.

I don't go out the next afternoon. I can't. The lie is consuming me.

I'm falling for her and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it.

…

Beautiful. I wonder if he'd still think that if he knew anything about me.

…

* * *

**Friday?**

**Thanks for reading. :o)**

**Oh, and check out the Taste of the Forbidden contest entries ( www dot fanfiction dot net /u / 4076435), I may or may not have a little something in there...**

**xox**

**Missy**


	9. Chapter 9

9.

I can't stay away from her.

It's a beautiful day today and my parents are gone until tomorrow.

I'm bored. I know she's there, in our spot. I hope she's not mad at me for not showing up yesterday.

Every time I see her, my breath catches in my throat.

I wasn't lying, she is beautiful. Gorgeous. I love her long wavy hair and her big brown eyes. I love how her hips fan out from her tiny little waist. I love her legs and that spot at the top of her thigh where is meets her butt. I love how good her hands feel in mine. I love how her lips make my skin tingle with every kiss.

I hope to find a girl just like her when I'm back home, but I know that'll be impossible because she's one of a kind and irreplaceable.

"Hi." I smile and walk up to her.

The sand is still wet from the morning rain, so she's leaning against one of the cliff walls and looking out at the beach and the ocean beyond.

Seagulls are flying low and the wind is cold. It's August in Maine. Typical weather, similar to home. I will never understand why mom insists on coming here.

"You weren't here yesterday," she states without bothering to look at me.

"My parents wanted to bring me with them." I lie.

_Liar, liar, liar,_ I tell myself.

"Oh...er, sorry. I guess. It kinda sucked here alone, ya know." She gives me a sideways glance and nods. Her eyes are sad and I'm itching to know more about her.

But I know I can't. I'm in deep enough as it is.

…

I hate being there. That house isn't my home anymore.

…

* * *

**Monday?**

**Thanks for reading. :o)**

**So many of you have questions about their pasts or about the things that go unsaid, if I told you everything right away, there wouldn't be any mystery now would it? Trust. ;o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	10. Chapter 10

10.

The sun is high up in the sky, its welcomed warmth enveloping us unlike the last few cool and windy days.

I kiss my way down her belly, enjoying the taste of her skin and the sounds she makes. Dipping my tongue in and around her belly button earns a soft giggle. I smile against her skin. "Ahh, you're ticklish," I state, and do it again while catching her gaze.

Her eyes are soft and her fingers scratch against my skull. "Yeah, I guess I am."

She sighs and I see a look - something - cross her features. Like she's sad, yet hiding. I don't like it. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She shrugs but I can tell she's not in the mood to fool around and I don't want to be that guy. I'm enough of an asshole as it is.  
I bring her shirt down and cover up her belly, and take her hands in mine. "Come on." I stand and tug on her arm until she rolls her eyes and follows me.

"Where are we going?"

Slipping on my Ray-Bans, I twine our fingers together. "Ice cream."

Mom always made me an ice cream sundae every time I wasn't feeling up to par. I was bullied a lot as a little kid and it often left me in a bad place, but mom always knew how to make me feel better.

Then in the summer between the ages of twelve and thirteen, I grew about six inches taller than all the other boys and they left me alone. Well, most of them anyway.

Fun times.

I still love a good sundae though.

She's quiet, more so than usual as we walk down the beach toward the little shop near the more touristy part of town. "You want to tell me what's wrong?"

"I can't. We don't do that, remember?"

I frown. Yeah, I remember, but I don't like it. "Maybe I can help?"

"Probably not. It's nothing you can fix in, what, the next three, four days. Trust me, you're better off not knowing." She gives me a sad smile as we saddle up to the counter and order a couple of butterscotch sundaes, extra peanuts and cherries. My kinda girl.

As if I didn't know already.

We eat quietly. She smiles a little bit as she eats and I make faces at her. It's childish, but before long, I have her giggling and happy.

When we're done, I pull her into my arms and hold her close. "I wish things were different."

It's a confession for so many things. More than she'll ever know.

She sighs and presses her cheek against my chest. "So do I."

…

He makes me feel too much.

...

* * *

**Wednesday?**

**Your response for this little story is overwhelming. Thank you. :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	11. Chapter 11

11.

The water splashes around me and crashes against the rocks and cliffs nearby as I wait for Bella to join me. I'm early but I had to get away from my mother. She mentioned antiquing, and I had to leave before being dragged along. I'll never understand how my father does it.

It's another nice day, and I hope Bella wears a bikini. I want her in the water with me.

I swim a few laps and watch for her.

When she finally makes an appearance, she's breathtaking. She's wearing a white, barely-there string bikini top with cut offs. I hope the bottoms are just as tiny.

I watch as she undoes the button of her shorts and gracefully steps out of them. She smirks when my eyes lock with hers.

Her playfulness is back, and I'm very happy about it.

She makes her way to me, careful to avoid the bigger rocks and their jagged edges. "I'm sorry I'm a little late."

I shake my head and smile. "You're not. I'm early."

Her skin is warm under my hands and her lips pliable against mine.

I kiss her and hold her close to me, our lower halves pressed together, and her legs wrapped around me in the water.

I walk over to the nearest rocks and set her carefully on top of them. "I missed your lips," she says as I move the little triangle she calls a bikini top and take her nipple into my mouth.

Her skin tastes like a mixture of saltwater, seaweed, and Bella. I love it. It's a part of us.

The us that I'll definitely miss once I'm gone and she's just a memory.

My fingers ghost down her belly, her shivers and moans egging me on as graze her sex over her bikini bottoms. "Do you want me to touch you, Bella?"

I know she does, but hearing her tell me so is such a turn on. "Yes, please...Embry."

I swallow the bile I feel rising in my throat, and press soft kisses on her collarbones and up the side of her neck. "Are you sure?" I whisper in her ear and graze her earlobe with my teeth.

"Yes." She doesn't need to say more for me to move the tiny scraps of fabric to the side and run my fingers up and down her slit, grazing her clit with each pass but not really giving her the friction she needs.

I'm hard as a rock, but getting her off is my main priority. I love seeing her come undone. Knowing that I do that to her, that I make her body quiver and her face contort like that. She looks...ethereal.

Bella swirls and bucks her hips against my fingers, and kisses me with so much need, I almost lose the little amount of control I have on my own hormones, and give into my own body's need to get off. But instead, I plunge two fingers deep inside her and use my thumb against her clit while I kiss and flick my tongue over her taut nipples.

It doesn't take long for her to shudder and shake in my arms and I make sure to kiss her mouth to avoid any names from rolling off of her lips.

I hold her against me when she comes down from her bliss, and laugh when she tells me how good it was.

"Don't laugh, I'm telling you, your fingers should get a medal for their fuckawesome skills." She giggles and I kiss her temple. "Your turn, baby." She grins and wiggles her eyebrows.

And I let her, because seeing her so happy is all that matters.

…

Alice says I'll love Forks; I think she's delusional.

...

* * *

**Friday?**

**You guys make me smile so big. Thank you. :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	12. Chapter 12

12.

The last two weeks have flown right by.

Two weeks of fun filled afternoons at the beach with my girl.

In my head, I can't not refer to her as that.

I hold her in my arms after I've rendered her boneless, and kiss her hair and her cheeks.

She burrows into me for safety as we watch the sun set over the horizon.

I never want this to end.

Her body molds into mine like nobody else's ever has, and when we do speak the few words that are uttered between us are magical. It's like she can read my mind.

"We're leaving in two days," I tell her.

We've never discussed our time here. Everyday she gives me is a gift.

"Yeah, I'm going off soon too. This sucks." She burrows deeper into my chest, and I bury my face in her hair and inhale her scent, trying to get as much of it as I can before I leave.

There is so much sadness in her tone. Sometimes, I wonder what really goes on when we're not together and why she spends so much time at the beach.

But I guess we all have our secrets.

I can't deny it, I'll miss her. We haven't had actual sex, but the fooling around we've done is amazing. Every time she touches me, I can feel the heat of her lingering over my skin, and I don't ever want that to go away.

And right now there's a persistent, nagging feeling I'm left with at the bottom of my stomach.

For the first time since meeting her, I don't want to see her the next day.

Because I know it'll be the last time I do.

…

I've crossed the line and I'm too far in to turn back.

…

* * *

**Monday?**

**Your words are precious. Thank you. :o)**

**Oh... and this one is beta'd up to ch 30 so... woot woot! :oD**

**xox**

**Missy**


	13. Chapter 13

13.

My last afternoon in the small coast town of Seaport, I find her sitting in our spot.

I watch her for a few minutes, drinking her in.

She's sitting in the sand, her long hair bristling in the wind, and her legs pulled up with her arms wrapped around them.

The sight is something out of a photography magazine.

"Hi," she says without looking at me.

I wonder if she feels my presence like I feel hers.

"Hey." I walk up to her and take a seat behind her, scooting myself so that I can wrap my arms around her shoulders and my legs around her small body.

I move her hair to the side and drop small lingering kisses under her ear. My arms tighten around her as I feel her shivering lightly, and she moves her head to the side to give me better access.

She loves it when I kiss her there. When I flick my tongue over her earlobe. When I bite her shoulder and swipe my tongue over the sting. And especially when I snake my hand down her body and into her barely-there shorts.

I find her wet folds and press my fingers against her flesh, drawing circles over her sensitive nub and making her shudder and call out the wrong name.

I hold her and even though I'm as hard as a rock, I don't move to take things further.

My mind and my body are at war with each other.

She feels me behind her and she grinds against me. She knows me too well. We've played this game before.

And without protest, I relent and let her take me into her mouth.

"Bella," I growl, and pull her lips from my hard flesh.

She looks up at me, all swollen pink lips and heavy eyelids. "Please," she begs, and crawls to straddle my lap.

I kiss her and kiss her and kiss her as she writhes over me.

"Are you sure?" I ask, lining myself up with her entrance.

She nods and spreads her thighs wider, giving me better access to her slick warmth.

And I'm lost in her. Her moans, her taste, and her touch do me in.

I kiss the tears that slip down her cheeks.

And she wipes mine with her thumbs.

I lean down and kiss her lips, showing her how much I care for her before finally succumbing to my release.

...

He's given me things I know I'll never find in anyone else, and I'll never see him again. Typical.

…

* * *

**Wednesday?**

**Present time coming soon. Thank you for the wonderful words. I love them. :o)**

**I'm trying to keep these ANs short but I gotta say a huge thanks to Joey for pre-reading and kicking my ass when I think my writing's shit, and to Jennifer for looking this over and encouraging me to keep writing in spite of my comma issues, lol.**

**xox**

**Missy**


	14. Chapter 14

14.

Once we're dressed, I hold her in my arms and press kisses on her skin.

I whisper in her ear, how much I've enjoyed every minute I've spent with her; how lame my summer would have been without her; and how much I'll miss her.

I don't lie. I can't.

The actor I thought I was is gone. He left a long time ago. I'm not even sure he was ever around.

When the sun sets, our time is over.

She turns in my arms and holds me as I tighten my arms around her small frame and swallow back my emotions.

And my heart breaks as I look into her eyes. "Don't cry, Sweetheart."

She shakes her head. "I won't." Her voice is barely a whisper.

I know she's lying because her tears are real as they slide down her cheeks, and her eyes are puffy as she searches my face.

My heart breaks all over again because I can't even give her my e-mail address. I have to live with the fact that I was a stupid asshole and couldn't even give her my real name to begin with.

I press small chaste kisses to her eyes, forehead, nose and finally one last lingering kiss to her mouth before I let her go and we part ways never to see each other again.

It takes four days to make it back home. Between the flights and the stops mom wanted to make, once in New York and once in Seattle, I'm physically and emotionally beat.

I close my eyes and all I see is her.

I vow to find her, somehow.

…

Five days in a U-Haul with Charlie is enough to make me want to hang myself.

...

* * *

**Friday? Yeah Friday is Present day!**

**Thank you! :oD**

**xox**

**Missy**


	15. Chapter 15

15.

**Present day**

"Edward, do you know Bella?" Alice asks from somewhere behind me.

I barely hear her. I'm too focused on my girl getting into a huge monster of a pick-up and backing out of the driveway.

I don't know what the hell is going on. It's like the universe is playing a sadistic joke on me.

"How?" I ask to no one in particular. It's the only word I can fathom. How is she here? How is this all possible?

How can I fix this so that I can hold her again?

"Edward, where exactly did you go?" Jasper's voice sounds far off but I know he's standing right next to me.

"Seaport." My eyes don't leave the driveway as my friends gather around me. None of them seem to comprehend what kind of clusterfuck just went on, and if I'm honest, I'm not sure I want to be around when they do. The asshole of epic proportions I just demonstrated myself to be is definitely not the Edward Cullen they know.

"Shit," Alice says, grabbing my arm to pull me out of my head. "Seaport? Seaport, Maine? You were going to fucking Seaport, Maine? And what the fuck was all this Embry crap? What. Did. You. Do?" She's fuming and really fucking scary.

I put my hands up defensively. I don't think I've ever seen her this pissed. "I...I fucked up." I swallow the lump in my throat and wipe the moisture from my eyes.

_Don't be a pussy..._

Her eyes blaze with anger as she steps closer to me. "Edward Cullen, that girl has been through hell and back. You fucking fix this or I swear to god, you won't live to see your eighteenth birthday."

"Man, seriously, why would you lie to her?" Jasper asks, putting his arms around Alice to hold her back.

I shake my head. I don't know. I do know, but the reality is so fucked up and selfish. I don't want to admit it, but yet I have to. "I wanted to be someone else, just for a little while. I never thought...I didn't think I would fall in love with her." I close my eyes. "I was bored. I never thought I'd see her again after that first day. But she was always there. I fucked up."

Alice snorts. "You fucked up alright, Edward. Fix it. She deserves an apology."

I nod. "I know."

…

I can't believe he lied to me. I should have known he was too good to be true.

...

* * *

**Monday?**

**You guys... your words... I cannot thank you enough! :'o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	16. Chapter 16

16.

Alice's words echo in my head. "That girl has been through hell and back."

I can't sleep. The words are on a loop and I want to know what went on with Bella that she didn't tell me.

What was she going through?

Why didn't she ever tell me?

I scoff. It's not like we ever really spoke about anything of substance.

It was one of those unspoken agreements and now we're both paying for it.

I was such a moron, thinking I could get away with it all. I've never even been able to lie to my own mom, and I thought I could lie to a beautiful girl and get away with it.

Telling her my name was Embry was one of those defining moments in my life that I know I will always regret. But I know I will never regret anything that Bella and I did. What we shared was tainted by my initial lie, but I swear to fucking Christ that I'll spend my life trying to show her how sorry I am.

She needs to know that the guy who lied to her the first day, he wasn't me. But that guy that took her out for ice cream, and held her close and kissed her cheek, yeah, he was all me.

And that guy who fell in love with that girl across the country, he was me too.

…

Edward's a nice guy? Alice is full of shit. I want to go home. If only I had one anymore.

…

* * *

**Wednesday?**

**Happy Holiday!**

**xox**

**Missy**


	17. Chapter 17

17.

Bella.

Alice gave me her cell number, but she refuses to take my calls.

School starts tomorrow and the thought that she's got me all wrong and that I'll never be able to be close to her again is driving me nuts.

Mom asks what's wrong. Yeah, even she noticed it. I tell her everything.

Well, not the sex part. That's just... no. There are some things I'll never share with my mother.

But I do tell her I lied initially just for fun 'cause I was bored and didn't think I'd see Bella again. I don't tell her about wanting to be a different person. That would buy me time with a shrink, and I don't want that.

Mom slaps me in the back of the head and tells me to never do that to a girl again and that she's raised me better.  
All I can do is nod and look away. Shame. I'm ashamed of who I let myself become.

"You need to fix this, son," dad says over dinner. "I thought you were gone all afternoon for surfing lessons."

I lied there too. "I'm sorry."

"Edward, Cynthia's told me a lot about Bella. I'm not going to tell you what that poor girl has gone through, but you need to apologize and make it right," mom explains sternly. She's close to Alice's mom, and if I'd paid closer attention, I would have known about Bella.

"I know." It's all I can say. I can't defend my actions. They were wrong and now we're both hurting instead of taking comfort in the fact that she's here and that we can be together again.

…

I hope I don't have any classes with that asshole.

…

* * *

**Friday?**

**I love your response to this. It makes me smile :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	18. Chapter 18

18.

"First day of school jitters" doesn't even come close to how I feel.

Hell, multiply those by a thousand and it still won't even be close.

"You okay, man? You look green," Jasper says when he gets into my car.

I snort. "Not sleeping for two days will do that to a guy."

"Bella, huh?" he asks and shakes his head. "Dude, what were you thinking?"

I shrug. "I just wanted to be someone different." It's the only explanation I can muster. None of them would understand. They've been my friends for too long and know me for who I am. They know this stunt isn't something I'd do. It's so out of character. Inexplicable.

People here in Forks know me as that smart guy. A geek. A little cocky at times, but usually shy and awkward.

Some of the girls pay me a little bit of attention, but after dating one of them for a few months last year and having her badmouth me to her friends, none of them want anything to do with me. I'm not the only one telling lies. Not this time. Some of the things Jessica has said are pretty bad, but at least I know they aren't true.

Bella was... different. A good different. I could tell just by looking at her. Her eyes gave her away that first day. She saw me as much as I saw her.

"Whatever you do, you have to fix it. She's part of our group now, and it would suck to have the two of you fighting all the time." He looks around the school parking lot and as soon as his eyes settle on Alice his face lights up.

"She'll have to talk to me for that to happen, and she hasn't been answering her phone." I park the car and turn off the engine, pocketing my keys. "If we're lucky, after she finds out about my track record with the girls here, she won't want anything to do with me anyway."

Jasper laughs. "Dude, you're like a priest. If it weren't for that chick you banged at that New Years party last winter, you'd still be holding that V-card."

I shake my head, my anger flaring up at the memory. "Shut the fuck up, Jasper."

"I'm just sayin'," he shrugs, "maybe once she figures out that you're really not a player, she'll see you didn't lie that much."

"That much? That fucking much?" I seethe. "I lied about my name, Jasper. I told her I was someone else. I could have lied about a lot of things, but my name? For weeks... we did everything together. She looked so... sad, defeated. I just... I can't believe I did that to someone." I shake my head. "To her. I can't believe I did that to her," I continue quietly.

"You fell hard, didn't you?" he asks.

I sigh and throw my head back against the headrest. "With everything I have."

…

Charlie says we have to live here; that his family is all we have now that mom's gone. What does he think I am? And who does he think he is?

…

* * *

**Monday?**

**Answers... well, some of them anyway... **

**I love you.**

**xox**

**Missy**


	19. Chapter 19

19.

I've been able to go through two classes without running into her. Thankfully, people seem to be oblivious to whatever went on at Alice's shindig. The only people that know are my friends, and they'll do anything to protect Bella, so none of them are talking.

With the exception of Jasper, they aren't even talking to me.

I take my seat in Biology class thankful that Mr. Banner won't assign me a partner again this year. He knows I can do all these stupid little assignments by myself, and has left me to my own devices since freshman year. The empty seat next to mine makes an excellent extra surface to keep my backpack off of the floor. Sue me, I like a clean desk.

I open my notebook and scribble a few notes while Mr. Banner does roll call.

A feeling of dread washes over me when there's a knock on the door. It's her. Without looking up, I know she's in the room. That pull, the same one bringing me to her at the beach, still lingers in the air as soon as she steps inside the room and walks over to Banner's desk.

"You took AP Biology at your old school?" he asks her while signing her class schedule. She nods and chews her bottom lip nervously. I can't keep my eyes off her. "That's good. Maybe you can give Mr. Cullen a run for his money this year," he says, smiling while pointing in my direction.

I look around and there aren't any more empty seats in the class so it's not like I can argue.

Jessica snickers and says something under her breath, but all I catch is "Brainward finally gets a partner." Apparently being smart isn't a good thing in her eyes. If only she knew... but then I'm glad she doesn't 'cause she's not worth it. None of them are.

Bella drags the empty stool as far away from me as she can and takes a seat, carefully draping her hair across the side of her face, and creating a curtain between us so I can't see her.

Mr. banner starts droning on about something or other, and I can't find it in me to concentrate. The air is thick around me, and I can't breathe. When I do, all I smell is sunshine and saltwater -all Bella. She's all around me, suffocating me with her essence. I want to touch her and see if she's real.

I wonder if maybe I've wanted her so badly that I've dreamed up the last few days?

When the bell rings, she bolts out of her seat and away from me without a single word.

"Seems you scared her away there, Ed," Mike snickers.

I shake my head and walk away. He's not worth the fight. None of them are.

None of them except for her.

…

Stupid small-ass school. They won't even let me change classes. Awesome.

…

* * *

**Wednesday?**

**I had entered the Taste of the Forbidden contest, my one shot "Indiscretion" is posted with the rest of my stories. **

**Thanks for reading...**

**xox**

**Missy**


	20. Chapter 20

20.

Three days in this school and I've had enough of it already.

I'm used to small town life. I'm used to being that chick in the corner who everyone ignores. The same chick who goes home every night and takes care of her mother because her father ran off when shit hit the fan.

I'm used to a lot of things.

But I'm not used to seeing the boy I love get treated so badly.

Yeah, it hurt to find out he'd lied about his name, but I can see why he did it.

I can see why he wouldn't want to be himself for a day. I wouldn't either.

Mike and Tyler are always picking on him for one thing or another. I overheard Jessica and Lauren talking about him in the bathroom, saying they couldn't believe I'd been stuck sitting with him in bio.

Oh, sorry, not me but "new girl." 'Cause learning my name is such a hardship for those stupid chicks.

They talk about him like he's this social pariah, like he doesn't matter.

But no matter how hard I try, he does matter. He's sweet and nice. And he once treated me like I mattered when nobody else did.

After not wanting to talk about any of it, I finally break down and talk to Alice. She confirms that Edward had always been shy and awkward. Very smart and kind, but he always got picked on for some reason. She told me about Emmett coming to his rescue a few times and how Edward tutored him to pay him back. She also told me how Emmett, Jasper, and Edward became the best of friends. She said he was loyal, and how out of character his behavior had been.

"Edward doesn't lie. He just... can't," she states and shrugs. "If you want to, Bella, the two of you can work this out."

And I guess that's my problem, I'm just not sure I want to.

Between Charlie pawning me off on his sister while he's off on another "business trip", missing my mother like crazy, and this new school, I'm not sure how much more I can handle.

…

That pull towards her is still too powerful to ignore. I deserve whatever she does to me, and I'll do whatever I can to make her mine for real this time. I just need to figure out how.

...

* * *

**Friday?**

**So Bella, huh?**

**I gotta thank my girls for all they do, seriously, you know who you are... THANK YOU! :oD**

**And thank YOU for the pretty words...**

**xox**

**Missy**


	21. Chapter 21

21.

The next few days go by in a blur and before I know it, it's Friday. My friends have come around but it's still tense. Alice doesn't speak to me and Rose just scowls, but at least Jasper and Emmett are still there for me.

When we sit together at lunch, Bella always sits the farthest away from me and doesn't make eye contact. Exactly like she's doing right now.

But I've learned a few things from listening and lurking.

Like, she now lives at Alice's with her estranged father.

Her mother died unexpectedly from Cancer after being sick for three years.

Cynthia, Alice's mom, kept in contact with Bella's mom in spite of Charlie walking out on his wife and Bella.

It all explains so much.

Some days, she seemed sad and it almost felt like she was somewhere else. But on those days, I simply held her close and did my best to make her smile.

It also explains why we didn't talk about personal stuff. She had her reasons, I guess, by not telling me, I was safe. I couldn't pity her like the rest of the people who knew her.

In a way, we're both very similar. We were both hiding from our real lives.

I just went about it in a very wrong way.

"So, get together at my house tonight?" Emmett asks boisterously, and sits down next to me.

I lean into him. "I don't think so, dude." I nod toward Bella. "I don't want to make her any more uncomfortable."

"Oh come on, E. You guys will fix this. She's..." he says shaking his head, "listen, she needs time."

_Time..._

"Yeah, well, it's only been a week and she's not talking." I shake my head and look away. "And I can't blame her."

"Just come. If anything happens and she doesn't want you there, you can chose to leave." He takes a bite out his burger, and ketchup drips down his chin. "But you at least have to give her a chance to forgive you."

I laugh humorlessly. "Forgive me? Are you nuts? I can't even..." I lick my lips and shake my head. "I won't blame her if she never talks to me again."

"Man, you never know. I get why you did it, she's been here a week, I'm pretty sure she's seen how people here treat you." He looks at me pointedly, and I flinch at his words.

Is it that obvious? This damn town and this shitty small school. I hate it here, and as soon as I can leave, I'm out. For good.

…

Some of the people here are so narrow-minded, no wonder mom hated this place. Even Cynthia can't quiet the rumor mill about my family.

…

* * *

**Monday?**

**So back to Edward, huh?**

**Thanks guys...**

**Jen... ellipses... I'm sorry...**

**I've got some stuff happening at home and I'm not sure about any ALLO updates for another few days for sure. I'm fail, and I'm sorry.**

**xox**

**Missy**


	22. Chapter 22

22.

I'm sitting in my car in front of Emmett's house. I've been here for about twenty minutes, actually.

The last time my palms were this sweaty, Emmett was inside waiting for me to show up and tutor him in math. It's been three years since then. Three years of me walking in and making myself at home in this house. Yet, right now, I feel like the biggest fucking coward in existence.

"Dude?" Emmett bellows as he opens my door.

My hand flies to my heart instinctively. "Shit, you scared me, man!"

"What the hell are you doing? Come on, Bella won't bite." He smirks and shakes his head. "Well, maybe she does. You would know, right?" He flashes me a big dimpled grin while I scowl at him.

I can feel my face heat up and I'm probably as red as a tomato right now, and he's still grinning at me. Fucker.

We walk into the house and I can hear the girls talking about some movie they want to see. The talking doesn't stop when I walk through the door, so I take this as a good sign and relax a bit.

Everyone is in the kitchen and Emmett informs me that his parents left for the evening, so it's just us six.

It's not weird at all.

I spot Bella sitting at the end of the table. Her hair is pulled up into a messy bun and she's wearing one of the t-shirts I was getting used to peeling off her. My cock twitches at the memory. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Now is not a good time for those thoughts.

Our eyes meet briefly, and I give her a soft smile, which she returns, but then she quickly shifts her gaze to Alice who's talking animatedly about some piece of furniture she wants to get next year for her dorm room.

"Alright, now that E's finally decided to walk through the door." Emmett claps his big hand over my shoulder making me flinch. "We can all go downstairs and watch that movie you girls insisted on renting."

Alice gets up and stretches her arms over her head. "Sounds good." She smiles and links her arm through Bella's. I watch them leave with Rose and Jasper in toe.

"Don't fret over it, dude. It'll work out." Emmett drapes his arm around my shoulder and leads me toward the basement entrance after everyone else.

I feel like I'm being led to the gallows.

…

I'm not sure how long I can hold out. He looks so defeated. It's not like _I_ was very forthcoming with anything personal.

…

* * *

**Wednesday? I like this schedule...**

**Thanks guys, you're amazing. :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	23. Chapter 23

23.

Fifteen minutes.

That's all it takes for the four of them to find excuses to go back upstairs and leave Bella and me alone in the rec-room.

I'm sitting at one end of the sofa while she's in a chair across from me. "So..." I nod. Yeah this is awkward.

She nods and clicks her tongue. "Yeah..."

I scratch the back of my neck. "You think they're coming back?"

She shakes her head and chuckles humorlessly. "Doubt it."

"I think we've been set up," I muse aloud.

She nods and looks at her hands. "Yeah."

An awkward moment passes where neither of us say anything. We're sort of talking, so I guess this is good. I just have nothing to say really, except for an apology, which whatever I say will never be enough.

"Listen, Bella, I'm really sorry about lying to you. It was just a giant mistake, and I shouldn't have done that." I rub my hands over my face and sigh, adding, "I didn't think it would go that far. I just wanted to be someone else for a day. I didn't think I'd see you after that first afternoon."

I chance a look at her and she's inspecting her fingernails attentively. "Yeah, I get it. You were on vacation on the other end of the country. Who would have thought, right?"

Her voice isn't laced with sarcasm or anything, so I take that as another positive sign.

"That's what I was thinking at the time, but I still shouldn't have done that. I should have come clean that second day. I really, really liked you, Bella. Not just the fooling around, but actually spending time with you." I say softly, hoping that maybe someday she'll forgive me. She was quiet and even if we never talked about really personal details, the small things were always interesting and the quiet moments were comfortable, never awkward.

"Alice said you were a nice guy. Before I moved, we talked on the phone almost every night. She talked about her friends and life here. I still can't believe you're him. Like I should be pissed, and believe me I am - or was - but it's all weird and conflicting because I cared about you so much, Edward." She stands and walks around the room and sits on the coffee table across from me. "And just calling you Edward, it's like so bizarre." She laughs humorlessly, and rolls her eyes while shaking her head from side to side.

I swallow a lump in my throat. "Do you think … do you think you could ever forgive me?" She's so close to me, I could reach out and touch her, but I don't in fear that she'll disappear.

Or run. I don't want her to run. Ever.

"We can be friends. I think that would be best," she says quietly.

Friends? I can do friends. Friends means spending time with her, earning her trust and showing her that I'm a good guy who made a simple mistake. "I'd like that."

…

I can't stay away from him anymore. I don't think I ever could.

…

* * *

**Friday? I'm seeing progress, yes?**

**I love your words, leave me some. :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	24. Chapter 24

24.

Leaving us alone to solve our own problems was the best things our friends ever did.

After that night at Emmett's, Bella and I actually started talking openly. We became friends, or on friendly terms at least.

We speak about random things, mostly about school and what our mutual friends are up to. The personal details are still a sore subject, but I can see she's trying.

She doesn't touch me. Not even a friendly hug or anything, but at least I get to be around her and for now I'll take that over nothing at all, even though I want more. I want to go back to what we had or at least part of it.

We've gotten to know each other on a deeper level these past weeks. If I could also get to touch her or hold her hand, everything would fall into place, I know it would.

That pull, or whatever it was that kept me going back to that beach is still there, lingering in the air all around us, pulling us in the same direction. It's still present at school. It lingers around us in biology class where I find myself distracted by her mere presence next to me. Good thing she's a good student.

But I also know she's not ready for anything relatively close to what we had. And it's my fault. I have to live with what I've done.

"Do you want to come over and study for our biology test?" she asks while we walk together toward the cafeteria.

I stop in my tracks and shoot her a look. Did I really hear her right? "What?"

She takes a few steps back and stands in front of me, shifting her weight from foot to foot nervously. "Yeah, we could go over some of the things from last chapter. I'm not clear about the mitosis… stuff." Her cheeks flush crimson, and I realize that she's reaching out.

I want to kiss her so badly, it fucking hurts.

I smile that crooked smile I know she loves. "Are you sure?"

She nods, biting her lip and takes my hand in hers, twining our fingers together. "Yeah, we can do this."

I swallow the lump in my throat as hope wells up inside of me. My smile is probably blinding as we walk together down the hall and to the cafeteria.

Hand in hand.

With every one's eyes trained on us the entire way.

I hope she means what I think she does.

…

Embry. Edward. His name doesn't change _who_ he was or is with _me_. I just need to make sure he's not just trying to get into my pants again. Trust is hard to give after being lied to.

…

* * *

**Monday?**

**Thank _you_ so much for reading and to my girls for what they do. :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	25. Chapter 25

25.

Knocking at the door to Alice's house, I still wonder if I'm dreaming.

Bella opens the door wearing a tight tank top and some yoga pants, and her hair is tied up in one of those messy buns. And it's wet.

She's definitely testing my resolve, but I won't waver. I know what she's doing. I need to show her that I wasn't in it for sex, it was her.

I take a deep breath to calm my twitching cock, and smile. "Hi."

She smiles back and moves over to let me come inside. As I walk in, I'm immediately assaulted by the smell of fresh baked apple pie.

"Is that apple pie?" I set my backpack on the ground next to my shoes and look around, desperate for something to distract myself from staring at her.

"Yeah, actually. Ehmm, I can't cook to save my life, but I can bake pie like no body's business." She walks in front of me and motions for me to follow her.

I pick up my backpack and fling it over my shoulder, and proceed to follow her.

It's a torturous walk. Not only are her yoga pants clinging to her ass, but there are no panty lines.

And she's not wearing a bra under that clingy tank top. I'd know, I've seen it before.

I think she's punishing me. Or torturing me.

I will die a painful death at this rate.

She turns around, her eyes meeting mine. "Are you okay, Edward?"

I know my cheeks are red. Flaming, actually. The heat spreading from my toes all the way to my ears makes me speechless. I nod dumbly and avert my eyes from her chest where it seems like her nipples are begging for me to look at them.

My breathing is labored and I tell her I need to go to the bathroom. I need a few minutes to myself. She's doing this on purpose, I'm sure of it.

She has to be. This is definitely a test.

She's definitely checking if I was using her for sex. Definitely.

After five minutes of hiding in the bathroom, I've calmed down enough to be in the same room as her, no matter her state of undress.

We sit at her kitchen table and study while I avoid looking anywhere but her face. We're able to joke around and the tension around us is thick but comfortable.

When we're done our homework, she offers me a piece of pie, which I accept greedily.

I'm hooked on the first bite, and moan when the flaky crust hits my tongue.

"This is good, Bella," I compliment between bites. I make sure to chew slowly, letting the flavors meld into my mouth.

"Thanks," she says shyly, taking a bite of her own piece.

Tension leaves my body as I'm able to relax a little, but before long, it's time for me to go home and I don't want to.  
Not one bit.  
…

I had to use every ounce of self restraint not to mount his face every time he moaned over a piece of pie. At least I now know he was telling the truth. He's really in it for _me_.

* * *

**Wednesday?**

**You guys are awesome! Thank you! :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	26. Chapter 26

26.

"I'm pretty sure Bella is trying to kill me," I tell Jasper over the phone when I get home from our study date.

_"Why do you say that?"_

"She wore these clothes that were like, painted on, man. I've seen this chick naked… that was torture and she knows it." I groan, wiping a hand over my face.

_"That's a chick for you. Mind games, my boy. She's related to Alice, remember?"_ He chuckles and I'm glad he's not in front of me because I'd want to pummel him.

"I'm not used to that kind of fuckery, Jasper. We never played those games before. If I wanted to kiss her, I did. If she wanted to kiss me, she just would. There was never any of this… tension." I shake my head and will the images of her naked body out of my mind.

Having a hard-on while on the phone with another guy is just awkward.

_"Yeah well, welcome to the real world, kid. You'll have to pursue her like any other girl."_ His voice is nothing but playful.

I sigh, "That's the thing, man, I don't know how. Where do I even begin?"

_"Ask her out on a date, Edward. And for god's sake, don't involve water,"_ he snickers.

"Yeah, thanks," I deadpan. "Do you think things would have been different if I'd told her I was Edward Cullen?"

_"Dude, Alice had already told her about you. If she'd known your name from the get-go, you two would have made it in each other's pants anyway. This way just takes longer."_

I didn't know about that. If only I'd known... "Alright, thanks man. I appreciate it."

We say our goodbyes and hang up the phone. For the first time in a long time, I finally know what I should do.

Without even giving Jasper's words a second thought, I dial Bella's number and pray that she'll say yes when I ask her out on an actual date.

…

He already owns my heart, how could I not say yes?

* * *

**Wednesday?**

**Yeah, so this is a little extra chapter 'cause I finished writing it and am now waiting for Jen to do her magic... I'm nervous though... really, sincerely... I love you guys for sticking with me! :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	27. Chapter 27

27.

At 7 p.m. sharp, there's a knock on the door. Nobody's here to answer it as Dad's still M.I.A., Aunt Cynthia and Uncle Ben have gone out to dinner, and Alice is out with Jasper.

I open the door and Edward is standing there looking all sorts of gorgeous. "Hi." I can't help the smile on my lips. This is what I need. With all the fuckery going on around me, this has become my solace.

He's become home to me, which is sad considering everything.

His smile is blinding and so sweet, bringing back so many good memories. My body seems to recall those lips and how they felt against my skin as he kissed me. A shiver runs down my spine at the memories.

"I'm glad you agreed to this, Bella." He bites his bottom lip nervously and blushes, reminding me more of the shy boy he supposedly is; the one Alice had talked to me about; the one I've been around for the last few weeks. The boy at the beach wasn't shy, not like this. It's hard to disassociate the two.

"I couldn't say no," I reassure him. "I don't like that you lied to me about your name. I kinda hate it, actually."

"Bella, I'll always be sorry for doing that," he argues but I won't have it. I know he's sorry, but there are things he needs to understand. I wasn't exactly truthful myself.

"Let me finish." I take his hand in mine and lead him to the living room where we each take a seat on the sofa. "Before seeing you there that first day on the beach, I had so many things going through my mind. My mom… she'd just passed about a month earlier and I don't know… I was in a really bad place."

I laugh humorlessly, thinking back to a few years before that. "My boyfriend of two years left for college last year and never bothered coming back. He e-mailed me to break up with me, and my best friend had completely disowned me because of some rumor. So my school year sucked." I shake my head, trying to clear the memories. My school year had gone from bad to worse. With mom being so sick, I had to take a job at the local diner and had no time for a social life. My best friend had taken it upon herself to spread the rumor that my father had sold my mother's liver in order to pay for his gambling debt. I found out later on that she was also dating my ex. Such a good friend she'd turned out to be.

"And my dad… when mom got sick three years ago, he just up and left. He was always flighty, had these gambling problems, and couldn't keep a job, but when she got sick... he just… left. He came around once in a while. Mostly to ask for money which we didn't have." I hope he understands all these things. Although insignificant - except for my mother's sickness and imminent death-it all snowballed, leaving me feeling hopeless and alone.

Tears prickle behind my eyes and I know, I know I'm going to cry and I don't want to. Not now, this is supposed to be my happy place, dammit. "Being with you, Edward… I was happy. For the first time in… so fucking long, I was happy. I lived in the delusion for two weeks that that time-that small window in my day-I was a normal girl. I was just a girl, spending time with a boy. I was a normal hormonal teenager. You didn't judge me. You didn't know about all the shit I'd gone through. You were just… you."

I look up to his face, and his eyes are glassy.

I'm a mess, snot sobbing by now. It's not pretty. It's not beautiful. I'm not who he thought I was either.

I can't be mad at him for doing something I did myself.

"I get it. I get why you lied. Now that I've been here and seen it, I get it, Edward," I continue, sniffling through my words. "But I was hurt - am hurt - so it'll take time. I want to be with you, don't get me wrong, I do, but we need to take things slow this time."

I'm not sure how long I'll be able to hold off though. He's made me feel so much, not just physically, but emotionally too. Being with him, there was that connection, that pull, that zing in every touch. It left my skin on fire and made me feel wanted, desired… needed. Like I mattered to someone again.

With my mother's passing, I'd felt so alone, unwanted and unloved. Unlike everyone else - my father, my ex, and my supposed friends - Edward wanted me. He'd shown me as much. It may have started with the physical attraction, but there was more. I was always sure of it.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I swear, I'll do anything, just please… can we… can we start over?" He wipes the tears from his cheeks and straightens up. His face contorts to the more confident boy I know and he takes both my hands in his. Looking me in the eye he adds, "I can't replace your mom. And Cynthia... she's a nice lady, but she can't either. Just know that if you need someone to talk to, I'm here." A wistful smirk tugs at his lips. "And as far as that ex-boyfriend of yours, well I'm partial on that one. I'd actually like to thank him for dumping you."

I sniffle and smile through the sobs. He's making me laugh. "You just knew… those times." I shake my head thinking of those moments when we'd gone into town. "Take me out for ice cream, Edward."

…

Hearing all this makes my heart break for her, but I'll pour everything I have into mending hers.

* * *

**So... Bella, yeah?**

**Tomorrow? :o)**

**Give me your thoughts, I can't wait to hear them...**

**xox**

**Missy**


	28. Chapter 28

28.

I hold her hand inside the car for the entire fifteen minutes it takes to get to the ice cream parlor.

We talk about random things: school, graduation, and college.

I'm going to Boston. It's been a plan of mine since I was twelve. Getting the hell out of Forks is the main goal, after all.

Bella says she's undecided. I'm hoping she doesn't stay around here, but whatever happens, we'll deal with it.

"So this is the infamous Forks Tastee Freeze," she muses as I park the car in front of the dilapidated looking shack.

"Pshh, don't knock it, the sundaes are to die for." We get out of the car and I join her, taking her hand in mine as we walk up to the counter. There are five or six people in front of us waiting to order. Thankfully, none of them are high school kids.

"Somehow, I trust you." She giggles and seems to be in better spirits.

I pull her closer to me and wrap my arm around her shoulder.

Leaning down to whisper in her ear, I ask, "Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?"

She blushes and I can tell she's going to argue with me. "Edward..."

"Don't." I shake my head and meet her eyes. "Accept it, I'm not lying, Bella. I won't. Not ever again, I promise. You look beautiful. To me, you always have."

She nods and takes a deep breath. "Fine… thank you. I guess."

I drop a kiss to her temple and hug her briefly. "Start accepting compliments, little girl. I plan on telling you until you start believing it yourself."

She snorts, it's unladylike, but cute. "Yeah, good luck with that."

"Is that a challenge, Miss Swan?" I raise an eyebrow and smirk.

"Maybe," she counters playfully.

"Challenge accepted." I lift her chin with my forefinger and run my thumb along her cheek, making her eyes meet mine. "I wish you could see what I see."

Her arms wrap around my waist and she pulls me closer. I lean down to kiss her softly, but just as my lips ghost over hers, I hear "next" being called from the order window.

"Butterscotch?"

She nods and pulls away. "Butterscotch."

…

He wants to start fresh after high school. I think I'd like that for myself.

* * *

**My teeth... too much sweetness.**

**Tomorrow? :o)**

**Your response to the last chapter was amazing. I'm so glad most of you got it. Thank you. :oD**

**xox**

**Missy**


	29. Chapter 29

29.

"This was fun, Edward." My hand is on the small of her back and I'm leading her to the front door.

"Yeah, it was. I'd like to take you out again, if you want." I'm nervous as I ask, but fuck, I need to be around her more and I'm not sure how dating works. What crosses the line between simply dating and being an item? We've done the deed, yet there's this invisible line drawn between us.

"I'd love that. Maybe we can go to the movies next time?" She's holding my hand and this is it. This is my cue to make a move.

"Sounds good, beautiful." Her eyes bore into mine and she only flinches a little at hearing the pet name I've given her. "How about next Saturday? We can drive down to Port Angeles and make a day of it."

She nods. "Sounds nice."

Her tongue peeks out to wet her lips and her eyes dart from mine to my mouth. This is it. "Can I..." I take a deep breath and swallow my nerves. "Can I kiss you, Bella?"

"Yes," she whispers, bringing her arms around my neck and pulling herself up closer to me.

I lean forward, gently brushing my lips against hers. The familiar feel and warmth of her body makes me relax instantly. Comforting and enveloping us in this cocoon.

It's like I can hear the beach, smell the ocean, and feel the sun beaming down on us.

Her lips mold to mine, tasting and taking as mine do hers. Swiping her tongue over my bottom lip, I open for her, greedy for anything she'll give me.

A moan escapes her lips and goes straight to my crotch. My dick seems to have it's own reaction to it all as it strains against my jeans, making me uncomfortable. I don't want to rub up against her, but I can't help it. It's like my body does it of its own accord.

Our tongues dance together in a familiar tango as her hands make their way into my hair. I grunt when she pulls gently at the tendrils. It's like she knows all my secrets.

I kiss my way down her throat and take her earlobe into my mouth while she pants and grinds her hips against mine.

"Edward, we need to stop." Her voice is husky, full of so many emotions.

With a whimper, I take my lips away from her skin. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't. I love that. I… kissing you… being with you that way… It's always… wow." She smiles, her breathing still labored, and I blush profusely.

"Yeah? I love kissing you too. It's one of the many things I missed," I confess.

Watching the blush travel up her skin and settle on her cheeks from my honest words is the sweetest torture.

The simple things are what I loved and missed.

…

His eyes. His mouth. The simple words and sweetest smiles. His hands. Him.

* * *

**Monday? :o)**

**As always, thank _you_ for reading and giving me your words. **

**Joey and Jen, you girls make this looks good... I loves you!**

**Scrimmy... I'm sorry I couldn't give your pervy butt more peen love. ;o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	30. Chapter 30

30.

I wake up Sunday morning with a smile tugging at my lips. He kissed me and it felt right, like everything around us disappeared.

Like it always did when I was with him at the beach.

Telling Edward everything about my life before this past summer felt like a weight was being lifted off my shoulders. Having him support me and tell me what I needed to hear was all I ever wanted.

To be supported. Loved. To feel like I mattered.

But I can hear what's going on right now downstairs between Charlie and Cynthia. My name has been said more than once. Edward's not here to comfort me this time.

I stay in bed and bury my face in my pillow. If I pretend I can't hear them, maybe it'll all go away.

Charlie doesn't want me. He can't take care of me. I'll be going off to college next year anyway, I'm all grown up, and I don't need him, he implores.

Cynthia argues with him. She tries to reason, that I need family. That I'm still a little girl. That I'm hurting.

I love my aunt, but she's not my mother. She doesn't reach out to me much; it's like she doesn't know how to act around me.

It doesn't take too long and the door slams shut. He's gone. This time, I hope I don't see him again. Charlie's been nothing but trouble for us. I don't want him in my life. I can't handle any more of what he's done to me. Or rather his lack of involvement.

A knock on my door startles me. I wipe my cheeks from the tears I didn't know I was spilling.

Cynthia's face is grim as she sits on the edge of my bed.

"Your father was just here," she states. "He... ehmm, he left already."

"What did he want?" I sniffle, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, trying to keep my voice steady and my throat from closing up.

"He just wanted to make sure you were okay. Bella, you can stay with us as long as you need, okay. Your uncle and I will always be there for you. We love you, please know that you can tell me anything." She searches my face; it's obvious I've been crying.

I nod, understanding what she's not telling me. She's not confirming that he won't be coming back for me, but I know. I know he won't. He can't take anything from me. I'm not working. I'm not making money for him to gamble away. I'm not worth anything to him.

A sob breaks free from my body and I wrap my arms around my aunt's neck, burying my face in her throat. Inhaling, she smells exactly like a mother- like my mother-like vanilla and spices. Home.

And I miss her so much.

This - all of it - it's too much. I cry and cry until there are no more tears. I can't remember crying this much since mom's funeral.

Aunt Cynthia does her best to soothe me. She's not the sentimental type, and even this is a lot for her.

Soon, Alice joins us and sits with me on the bed. She tells me we're having a girl's day and does her best to make me feel better.

She's my best friend and I'm grateful to have her.

Whatever she does to distract me works well. We spend the day in my room, chatting, watching Molly Ringwald movies, and gorging on ice cream and potato chips.

Edward sends me a few texts throughout the day, and I reply telling him I'm okay and that I miss him. He's doing some chores for his father and says he misses me too. He tells me he can't wait to see me tomorrow and I tell him the same.

...

Spending my entire Sunday bringing in firewood is not my definition of fun. Dad says distance makes the heart grow fonder, and laughs when I scowl at him.

* * *

**That was Bella...**

**Tomorrow? :o)**

**Thank _you_ for reading and giving me your words, they make me smile. **

**In case there was any confusion... I don't own Twilight... **

**xox**

**Missy**


	31. Chapter 31

31.

Word around school travels quickly. By Monday's lunch period, the entire student body knows that Bella and I are an item.

Which is more than I know since I wasn't even sure what label to put on us.

Bella is already sitting at our table when I make my way there with my tray in hand. Her eyes meet mine instantly, like she felt my presence. I've often wondered if that pull is as significant for her as it is for me. I'm always able to tell where she is in a room. It's... weird, but good. Really good.

The usual seating has been switched around and there is now an empty seat right next to Bella, where Rose used to sit. Rose is now in my old seat, next to Emmett. I like this arrangement; knowing she is finally ready for more.

"Hey." I smile and jut out my chin toward the empty seat next to her. She smirks and nods minutely, letting me know it's okay.

Once seated, I look over at her and she's quiet, contemplating, playing with her food. "You okay?"

"Yeah... just, you know." She looks around, her eyes scanning the room and when I follow her gaze, I see students milling around, whispering, and looking in our direction. "People are... annoying."

I scoff. "Understatement. I heard some... things. Are you okay? Did anyone say anything... bad?" I swallow nervously. We need to have certain discussions. We've only gone on one date, but what does it even mean? Heck, does it mean anything at all?

"No, nothing bad. Just rumors and whispers. It's all... whatever." She averts her eyes and frowns, waving it off. I can see there's more she isn't telling me, but I won't push right now. I'd rather wait 'til we're alone together so I can give her whatever she needs without feeling like we're being watched.

"Hey Bella?" Lauren hollers out of nowhere from across the cafeteria. All eyes and attention are on her in an instant, and she smirks and looks around. "I hear you and Ednerd here had yourselves some... fun over the summer."

My eyes widen in feat. No... no no no... she can't do this to Bella. Not now. Not ever.

I look at the small girl seated next to me, her eyes are closed, and her body folded into itself, like she's trying to make herself disappear. I put my hand over hers on the table and give it a light squeeze, telling her I'm here, and I won't let this happen.

They can bully me all they want, but not Bella. She hasn't done anything to deserve this treatment. I haven't either, but when you're in first grade and already know how to read, you don't exactly make friends. Being smart is the one thing they've always held against me.

Being friends with Emmett and Jasper stopped a lot of the bullying and I even got some people to see me for who I am and not who they thought I was, but I trusted the wrong people.

I started dating Lauren. She wanted things I wasn't ready for. Like sex.

I didn't feel comfortable with her, and at times, I was sure she was just with me to make Tyler jealous. And I turned out to be right.

Her and Tyler have an on and off relationship, and whenever they're "off," she comes to me and tries to re-kindle whatever it was we never had. It has never worked. Rumor is, Tyler got himself a steady girlfriend over the summer and has been ignoring her since the beginning of the school year.

"Lauren," I growl angrily. "What do you think you're doing?"

"So this... this is the kind of girl you want, huh? Must be quite the slut to let you into her pants." She motions to Bella and grimaces. I should have known this was coming. She'd told me I'd never date anyone in this school. She'd threatened me when I broke it off with her. I thought they were idle threats.

I also never thought I'd date anyone here ever again.

It wasn't my fault, I just couldn't do it. She wasn't... what I wanted. I couldn't make my body want her either.

"Why are you doing this, Lauren?" Rose asks while I sit there speechless, just gaping at her like the pussy they all know I am.

"The two of you have been over for at least a year, Lauren. What's the matter with you?" Alice continues, and moves to wrap an arm around Bella's shoulders.

I swallow the bile that's risen from my stomach and try to come up with something to say, but I can't think of anything. I just want Bella. I want our summer back. Our weekend back.

We both need out of this place. Pronto.

…

Teasing. Taunting. Not good enough. Slut. Why would he want me? It's all I've heard all morning, and now everyone knows.

* * *

**Tomorrow? :o)**

**Yeah... Lauren is sort of...**

**xox**

**Missy**


	32. Chapter 32

32.

Mrs. Greene pulls Lauren out of the cafeteria, apparently she'll be suspended for her public outburst. Thankfully, Mrs. Greene doesn't take that kind of thing lightly, and is aware of my past troubles with other students. Lauren called Bella a slut and the entire student body was present to hear it. That's enough for a three-day suspension.

Bella is cold toward me. She refuses to make eye contact throughout biology class, and when I try to hold her hand, she pulls away.

I'm not sure what's going on with her, but we seriously need to talk.

I follow her out of class and when we get to her locker, I wrap my arms around her, and hug her against me. She's stiff at first, but after a few moments, I feel her resolve crumble and she melts into me, wrapping her arms around my waist and holding onto me like I'm the only thing holding her up.

"Talk to me, Bella. Don't push me away, please. I'm not going anywhere, sweet girl." I kiss the top of her head, and hold her into our little bubble as students mill around us, distracted and getting to their classes.

I don't care if I have to skip the rest of the day. We were making so much progress only a few days ago. I'm not reverting back to before. I'm not letting her push me out of her life. Not now. Not again. Not ever.

"Come with me, Bella." I step back from her and thread my fingers through her hair, lifting her chin with my other hand. Looking in her eyes, the sadness and raw emotion that's there breaks me. "Come with me. We can talk. Alice wouldn't tell me anything, but I know your dad was there yesterday."

At my words, her eyes widen and she pulls in a ragged breath. "Okay." Her voice is weak, and the strong girl mask she usually wears has crumbled and has been replaced by this broken girl I'm holding in my arms.

Threading our finger together, I close her locker and guide her down the hall and through the side doors that lead to the parking area where my car is.

I know she came here with Alice so I shoot her a quick text telling her Bella is okay. She responds quickly and tells me to take care of her.

I will. Always.

…

I'm not sure how much more I can take.

* * *

**Tomorrow?**

**Yeah... :'o(**

**Your concern for Bella warms my heart! Thank you!**

**xox**

**Missy**


	33. Chapter 33

33.

It's started raining so I can't bring her to the park; instead I find a secluded driveway that leads to an abandoned house. I park the car, making sure it's not visible from the main road, and turn off the engine.

I turn in my seat and take her hand in mine. "Talk to me, Bella. I know this isn't just about us, there's something more to it."

"My fath... Charlie was at the house Sunday. I heard him arguing with Cynthia. He... he doesn't want me and now with Lauren obviously intent on coming between us, I don't know what to do." Her voice breaks and wavers, and she won't look at me. She's looking out the window, detaching herself from her emotions, and speaking matter-of-factly, like she's telling a story.

I play with her fingers, trying to keep her grounded to me, refusing to let her go completely numb. "What happened this morning before lunch?"

"Lauren and Jessica heard about us through Jessica's mom. They know we went out Saturday. Someone saw us at the ice cream parlor. Oh and somehow, they found out about... you know... this summer. That we knew each other already." She turns and looks at me, but I don't have answers.

"I didn't... I didn't tell anyone, I swear. The only people who knew anything were Alice, Rose, Emmett and Jasper, and none of them would say anything," I implore.

She shakes her head. "I know that. It's a small town, Edward. People talk, you of all people know this. It's just so overwhelming that they know my business and now she's trying to do what? Humiliate me into leaving you so she can sweep in?"

Her theory makes sense. It would be like Lauren to try something like this. Lord knows when it comes to me she's tried everything else. "It's not gonna work. Nothing's going to come between us, Bella." I chuckle which gets her attention. With her eyes trained on my face I add, "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

She smiles minutely, but I see it. He entire posture changes and she shifts to look at me. "What are we? I mean... it's just... you know... what are we to each other?"

I feel heat rise up in my cheeks, and the tips of my ears are probably red. "I like you... a lot. You like me too, right?" I avert my eyes at that last question, unable to look at her, just in case she's changed her mind. I'm not sure I could handle it, but I'd have to I guess.

She's quiet for a little too long so I chance a glance at her face. The look in her eyes, it's like she doesn't believe I just said that.

And then she starts laughing. This amazing deep, loud belly laugh that echoes throughout the inside of the car. Her cheeks are flushed and she looks glorious.

"Oh my god... Edward," she starts through fits of giggles. "Are you for real right now?" I don't know what to say, or if I should say anything, but before I can speak she continues, "Alice and her parents... and now you, are all I have. We've gone out... fuck, we've... well, we've done that too, and you have to actually ask if I like you? Seriously?"

"Well... er, I... I didn't..." I sputter, my voice squeaking with uncertainty.

"Dude, stop, you're giving me whiplash. I like you a hell of a lot and... yeah, we're... I'd like us to be a couple. If that's what you want too." She hangs her head back on the headrest and looks up at the ceiling while our fingers are still twinned together, my fingers brushing softly over hers and hers moving in sync with mine.

"Yeah, I want that. More than anything, actually." I smile, confidence returning and surging through me. I bring her hand, palm up, to my lips and kiss it lightly, pulling her out of whatever staring contest she had with the roof of the car, and making her look at me.

"It's not going to be easy, Edward. I've been through a lot, and these days, I'm all over the place," she confesses sadly.

"I know and I want to be there for you. I promise I won't let you down. I've said this before and I'll keep saying this until you believe me, Bella." I want to tell her how I feel. That I love her. That whatever connection we have, is deeper than anything I've ever felt with anyone, and I don't even want it with anyone else. Before my filter has time to work, I blurt out, "Bella, I... I love you."

She's stunned for a moment, then her face lights up and her cheeks redden. Her tongue peeks out, wetting her bottom lip and she takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly before saying, "I love you too, Edward."

Sitting in my car, hand in had with the truth out there, I feel like we can overcome anything that's thrown at us. "We can do this, Bella. Together."

She nods and gives me a soft smile. "Together."

…

I'm overwhelmed with losing so much, yet I'm gaining something I never though I'd have. There is a light at the end of it all.

* * *

**Tomorrow?**

**Thanks for reading. :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	34. Chapter 34

34.

When I get home Monday after dropping off Bella, mom and dad are concerned about my absence from school. When I explain that I was helping Bella, my _girlfriend_, through some things, they are just grateful I could be there for her in some capacity.

I'm nervous as hell on Tuesday when I pick her up for the first time before school. Her and Alice are standing in front of Alice's house when I pull up. Jasper wordlessly hops out of my car and gets in with Alice while Bella takes his place in the passenger seat. I guess this works out for them too.

Bella gives me a small smile and I kiss her cheek. We're both quiet on the way to school, nerves getting to both of us.

When I park the car, I can feel the eyes of the entire student body trained on my vehicle. "Are you ready for this?" I take her hand and squeeze it lightly.

"Yeah, we can do this." She worries her bottom lip, and takes a deep cleansing breath.

Exiting the car, I join her side and take her hand in mine. "You sure?" My voice is quiet, unsure.

She stops in her tracks and brings her other hand-the one that's not holding mine-to the back of my neck, threading her fingers in my hair. "Edward, I'm sure about this." She nods for emphasis, her fingers scratching my nape lightly, making me shiver. "If we're going to do this, we may as well do it right." Then she gets up on her toes and presses a gentle kiss to my lips and smiles.

I hear catcalls from a distance, and smile back, pressing our foreheads together. "Nothing like a little PDA to mark your territory, huh?"

She smirks and shrugs. "Just making sure they all know we're not going anywhere."

I kiss her cheek. "Let's go to class before we get suspended for causing a scene."

I walk her to her locker, surprised that nobody seems to even notice us. We get a few onlookers, but unlike yesterday when my skin prickled with whatever was lingering in the air, today seems distinctly different.

Who would have known that Lauren's little outburst would be seen as some ramblings from a jealous ex? I certainly didn't see that coming.

By lunchtime, I'm caught up with all the rumors. Our PDA in the quad simply confirmed that Bella and I were unbroken. Whatever Lauren's intent had been, it had failed miserably.

"So Jessica apologized," Bella tells us when I join them for lunch. I hate that I always get there last, but my class before lunch is all the way across the school while all of theirs are close to the cafeteria.

"Oh yeah?" I hang an arm on the back of her chair, and absently play with the ends of her hair.

She snorts. "Yeah, I really don't get it. One minute they're best friends, the next Lauren is the black sheep. I'm not sure I even want to know."

"Well, I heard through Joey, who got it from Mandi, that Lauren got the clap from Tyler and just snapped," Rose adds.

"Well... that certainly is... gross actually," I muse aloud. I can't believe she wanted to get back with me. Eww... no wonder my dick didn't like her.

"You dodged that bullet there, eh Ed?" Emmett snickers.

Yeah, definitely dodged a bullet.

…

The rest of the week should be interesting. At least I didn't have to pee on his leg to make a point.

* * *

**Monday?**

**On a separate note, I donated an ALLO outtake for the Stand Up 4 Katalina compilation. It's a great cause, check it out... katalina . fandomcause . info **

**Have a good weekend, chickies! :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	35. Chapter 35

35.

For the rest of the week, Bella and I talk on a daily basis about anything and everything. We're not allowed to see each other much after school, which is a bummer, but at least we have the phone and the computer.

We're now Facebook official. _That_ is pretty cool.

I never thought the girl at the beach would end up meaning so much to me, but I'm damn glad she was able to see past the mask and get to know who I am.

As predicted, things go pretty smoothly until Friday when Lauren comes back to school. Apparently being suspended for a few days hasn't toned her down. Hell, I'm not even sure she's aware of the fact that her little posse has done nothing but badmouth her ever since Monday's outburst.

"What's with that?" I hear her shrill voice as Bella and I walk past her on our way toward the school entrance.

I don't pay her any mind, but I feel Bella stiffen next to me.

I can hear Jessica telling her to give it up, that we're seniors, and that she's above all this bullshit, but it doesn't stop Lauren from calling Bella a tramp.

Anger rises up inside me. This is all so uncalled for. In all the years I've endured this bullshit and hypocrisy, never have I felt like I wanted to just kill someone. Standing up for myself has always scared me, making me a pussy. But this, this I refuse to take lying down. How dare she?

"Edward, don't. She's not worth it." I feel Bella's hand on my arm as I turn to face Lauren and her group of "friends."

"She's not, but you _are_," I emphasize. "It's about damn time I stand up for myself around here." In the corner of my eye, I can see Emmett and Jasper ready to pounce and take my side, but Alice is standing in front of them, holding them off, nodding minutely, and encouraging me to do this.

I may just get suspended after all this, but I don't care.

Gritting my teeth, I take a few steps forward and face Lauren head-on. "What is your problem?"

"You and your little fling over there, that's my problem. So what, you go off on vacation and bring back a little prize? You know, if you wanted a little piece on the side, Edward, I'm sure that could have been arranged." She smiles and bats her lashes, but it does nothing for me. It never did, hence the problem between us.

"I don't know what I saw in you, but I'm glad nothing ever happened between us, Lauren. Seriously, you need to get a life and move on." I shake my head and look around. Her so-called friends are just standing there not really paying much attention, obviously embarrassed that we're creating a scene. None of them are coming to her defense, and I've got to admit, I'm a little grateful for that so I add, "Look around, Lauren, you're causing a scene. Hell, even your friends are embarrassed to be standing here with you. It's not very attractive."

"You know what, Edward? You're nothing. You never were and you never will be. I hope you're happy with her, because you've just lost your chance at getting with this." She points at herself and smirks, all proud, like she just burned me.

I scoff and start laughing. "You're so delusional it's embarrassing, really. I could care less what you think. I never have and I never will. Have a nice life, Lauren." I turn to walk away, but then turn around, walking backward toward Bella I add, "And by the way, leave my girlfriend out of this."

I'm high on adrenaline when I meet up with Bella who's now surrounded by our friends. "That was awesome," I tell her and take her face between my palms. "Together, right?" I grin and kiss her, taking my time to explore her mouth thoroughly before pulling back, breathless, and taking her hand in mine.

She's in shock, her face flushed, and her lips pink and swollen from our kiss, but she smiles and nods. "Definitely together."

…

Seeing him standing up for himself, yeah... sexiest thing ever. Well, almost... it's definitely a close second to a sun kissed Edward walking out of the ocean.

* * *

**Tomorrow?**

**Thank you! :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	36. Chapter 36

36.

"I'm proud of you, man," Emmett says seriously. His face is stern and there's no sign of laughter.

"Yeah, that was great, Edward. So all this is Bella's doing, right?" Jasper grins. 'Cause yeah it is, and he knows it.

Knowing what she's been through - what she's still going through - it's humbled me. She's lost so much, and she's still able to find reasons to live, move on, and smile everyday.

I'd like to think I have a small part in that, but the fact is she does the same for me.

She believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself. She trusted me after I screwed up, and probably didn't deserve it. She showed me that facing my demons would only bring about good things.

"Bella definitely has a hand in this," I confirm.

It's finally Saturday, I'm at Alice's, and I'm waiting for Bella to join me so we can go spend the afternoon in Port Angeles.

"That's good. She's good for you, and Alice says you're good for her too, man," Jasper adds.

"Yeah... she is." I nod awkwardly. This is getting to be a little too much of a touchy-feely conversation to have between the three of us. "Where are the girls, anyway?" I feel like I've been here forever.

"Alice was giving Bella and Rose some highlights. They should be almost done by now." Emmett pauses his PS3 game just as the girls rush down the stairs.

My eyes immediately land on Bella. Alice seems to have done something to the color of her hair. Instead of the deep, rich, chocolate brown color I'm used to seeing, there are now some streaks in various shades of red. "Your hair looks nice," I compliment, taking a strand of it and twisting it around my finger while my other hand brushes her bangs out of her eyes. "Did she cut it too?"

Bella rolls her eyes and nods. "Yeah. I let her play around with it. She applied to beauty school, and needed to send in a few pictures for her port-folio."

I examine her face for a few moments then drop a kiss to her lips before adding, "You look beautiful."

Except for the hair, I don't really notice anything different, but from hearing them talk, apparently Alice added some light make-up and did something to her eyebrows. Whatever. It's all girl stuff, and she looks good no matter what.

"You ready to head out?" The rest of the gang has moved on to the basement, leaving us on our own.

"Yeah," she bites her lip and for some reason, my mind flashes images of her doing that while we were basking in the sun, listening to the tide roll in, and the birds up above.

I instinctively swipe my thumb over her bottom lip, pulling it from between her teeth. Clearing my throat, I shake my head to distract myself from what I'd really like to do instead of going out. "We should go." Leaning down, I kiss her quickly and pull back. My heart's going a mile a minute, and my breathing is labored. All that from a simple kiss.

Dammit this isn't want I want. I want to kiss her deeply and make her moan. I want to touch her until she shudders and falls apart. I want to lay her down on a bed and make love to her. I want to worship every inch of her body until she can't even move.

I take a step toward the door and start putting on my shoes, distractingly willing my body to calm down.

"Edward?" Her soft voice brings me back to her and my eyes immediately find hers.

"Yeah?"

"I want..." She takes a deep breath and puffs out her cheeks before letting it out. "I want... everything... you know... like we had... then."

It takes a moment between her nervous ramblings for me to understand that she wants... she wants what I do.

"Are you sure, Bella?" I take a few steps forward, awkwardly holding on to one shoe while wearing the other one. "Because once we go back there - to that - I won't stop wanting to touch you and be with you. I can be patient and give you as much time as you need, we don't have to rush into anything."

She looks up at me confidently and grins. "We're not rushing, I trust you. More than anyone. I want you." She takes a deep breath and licks her lips, making them glisten. "More than anything."

I drop my sneaker to the ground, my breath catching in my throat. Closing the distance between us, I pull her to me roughly, making her squeak and giggle. "Don't you laugh at me." I smile against her cheek and kiss it, then drop kisses down her throat, all the way to her ear. "Does this mean I get to taste you again?" I suck her earlobe into my mouth and feel her shiver in my arms. "It's not cold in here, Bella."

"God, I miss that," she whispers, her mouth descending on the little bit of skin exposed by my V-neck shirt.

"We, er... we were heading out... right?" I'm so worked up, my own body is threatening mutiny if it doesn't get release. These damn pants are really fucking uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"Yeah... or we could go to my room..." she suggests, wiggling her eyebrows. Dammit, she's making this hard on me. Pun intended.

"God... that's..." But before I can say anything more, the doorbell rings interrupting us and whatever we were about to do... or not do.

Alice's parents are away so it's just us kids here. Bella rolls her eyes when Alice yells at us from the downstairs to get the door. Dammit, and here I thought we had some semblance of privacy. I hope they didn't hear any of that.

"Charlie, what are you doing here?" Those words send a shiver down my spine and make my skin prickle. This is not good.

…

Just my luck. The moment I'm able to focus and find my path, _he_ comes back to screw it all up.

* * *

**Tomorrow?**

**Thank you! 3 :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	37. Chapter 37

37.

"Bella, can I speak to you?" He has the nerve to show up here. I can't... I can't deal with this.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. Two strong hands appear on either side of me and I know I'm okay. I can do this. With Edward's support, I feel like I can do anything.

"Is everything okay, Bella?" Edward's voice washes over me and calms me. I meld into him slightly and nod toward my father who's standing by the door.

"That's my father." I feel Edward stiffen slightly, and then he wraps his arm around my side and holds me close to him.

"Sir." He nods but doesn't say anything more.

I don't want to give Charlie the satisfaction of meeting or even knowing the boy I love. He lost that privilege a long time ago.

"What do you want, Charlie? I thought you weren't coming back." I clench my jaw, keeping my emotions in check.

"I ehmm, I guess I need to apologize." He seems sincere, but then again, he's a con artist, he always seems to mean what he says. Lies. Lies. Lies.

"I don't care anymore. I'll be eighteen soon. All grown up, remember?" He flinches at my words, and I continue, "The walls aren't that thick, Charlie. I heard everything."

"Bella, I'm sorry. Your mom and I were married young and I never wanted... I'm not... I can't be a father, Bella. You know this. Your mother... was a saint to put up with me, but I didn't want..."

"Don't." I take a step forward and put my hand up. I can't - don't - want to hear the rest of that sentence. "Don't finish that sentence. I know you don't want me. I'm not stupid." Tears prickle at my eyes and I don't care. I need to get this out. "You never wanted me. I'm the reason you had to marry mom; I know that. She got pregnant and you had to get married. I'm the reason you started drinking and gambling, because you couldn't handle the responsibility, right? Blame me for your mistakes, dad. It makes so much sense, really." I hope he hears the sarcasm in my voice because I can't rein it back.

"Mom did the best she could without you," I continue, tears flowing freely down my cheeks. I wipe them on my sleeve, not caring that he got the best of me; that I was unable to keep it from him. It's about time he sees how much he hurts me; how much he's always hurt me. "I have something good here again. I miss mom every day, but these people here, Aunt Cynthia, uncle Ben, Alice and Edward... _They_ are my family. _They_ have taken me in and loved me and accepted me... Where have you been, huh?"

I can feel Edward behind me. His mere presence soothes me as I'm clearly losing it, going on and on, while Charlie stands there dumbfounded. He's not used to me being so forward. I've been keeping this inside for so long, biding my time, praying that I'd turn eighteen and move forward without looking back.

"Bella... I... I... I don't know what to say." Charlie stumbles over his words and his eyes land on Edward and our other friends that have shown up due to the commotion.

"How about you leave and don't come back this time, huh?" My voice falters, exhausted. How could I go from fundamentally, completely happy to this sobbing mess in just a few minutes is beyond me, but it's all been a long time coming.

I'm mentally and physically done. Just done with it all. Done with him. It's out there and I can't take the words back. I don't want to take them back. I needed to say this. It probably won't affect him or make him change and get help, but dammit I can't help but feel a hundred pounds lighter.

"Uncle Charlie, I called mom," Alice chimes in.

I turn in Edward's arms and hold on to him, burying my face in his chest. The same spot I'd been kissing only moments earlier is now drenched in tears.

I feel lighter, though. Like it's out there now. Like the big bad wolf can't come for me anymore. Like he can't blame me for his mistakes any longer because I've decided, he can't. He has to own up to his own shit now. I won't work and just hand over my paychecks to him or give him my college fund. He can't hurt me ever again. I refuse to let him do that to me.

No more.

"Shh, Bella. It's okay." Edward's voice soothes me and I open my eyes. We're alone in my room, which used to be the guest room. I don't know how we got here, but we're sitting on my bed and Edward has me settled on his lap. "He's gone, Bella."

"How did we get up here?" I look around and notice the light outside is dim, indicating it's probably late, most likely after dinner.

"I carried you. You were crying and I didn't want to let you go so Alice suggested I bring you up here, and hold you until you were ready to talk. Your aunt is back, by the way. If you prefer to talk to her, I can go get her for you." His hands are in my hair, gently fingering the strands. It feels wonderful, and makes me slightly dizzy all at the same time.

"No, I'm okay. I just... It was four years of shit to get off my chest, you know?" I get off Edward's lap and face him. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me, baby. That's what I'm here for." He smiles sweetly and pushes my hair back from my cheeks and forehead. I close my eyes, soaking up the feel of his touch. He's gentle and sweet. He's the guy I fell for. "Together," he whispers.

I nod and lay down on the bed, exhausted from the afternoon and Edward lies down behind me, holding me to him and just being there.

…

Seeing her so broken and lost, I refuse to let that happen again. Whatever she needs, I'll be there for her.

* * *

**That was Bella...**

**Tomorrow for the epi?**

**Thank you so much for the nice words you leave me. I love them. :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	38. Chapter 38

38.

It's been three weeks since that faithful afternoon where Charlie showed up on Bella's doorstep. She's been okay for the most part, especially since he's probably never coming back. Not after Ben clocked him a good one, and told him to leave Bella alone. She's practically an adult, and clearly doesn't need him.

I was expecting some sort of mental breakdown from Bella, but instead I've been rewarded with a happy girlfriend. She's _that_ girl from months ago - all sex and sin - combined with the sweet girl I was able to get to know while we were getting re-acquainted.

I've been mulling things around in my head, like what if things had been different, would we still be here right now?

And I don't think we would be. I don't think I would have found the confidence to stand up for myself if I hadn't had to prove to her that I was a good guy.

I don't know how things will be for us in the future. We both want out of here, that's for sure. The rumors about us may have ceased, but I can't help but imagine us living somewhere out east, where we can walk down that beach hand in hand and relive some of the memories we made there.

We've been trying to create new ones though. Like last weekend when I licked ice cream off her chest, or last night when we explored the back seat of my car. Yeah, okay so we're still hormonal teenagers and given how we met, it's to be expected, right?

But tonight, I'm doing something we've never done before. Mom and dad are going out and I have the house to myself.

"Bella," I sigh when her teeth graze my earlobe.

We've actually managed to make it all the way to my room.

With my hands on her hips, I push her back on the bed and lay over her, settled between her thighs.

"This is better than sand and rocks," she giggles and scrapes her nails down my back, making my entire body shudder.

"And the car," I add. We can't forget the car. Seeing her lying in the back seat, legs wide open, inviting me into her. Yeah, not gonna lie, that was hot.

"Hmm, yeah... the car," she mules when my hands make their way down her sides, slipping under the delicate fabric of her blouse and back up over her abdomen.

Cupping her breasts, I swipe my thumbs over her sensitive nipples, feeling them harden under my touch. "I love how your body responds to me," I admit, dropping open-mouthed kisses down her collarbone.

She brings her hands up under my shirt and slips it over my head, smiling when she sees my bare chest. "I love how my body responds to yours too." She giggles and presses the balls of her feet against my ass, making me grind into her.

She's been giggling a lot more too, which is good. It's my second favorite noise that comes out of her pretty little mouth. The first one is when she calls out my name when she comes.

Moving her shirt up, I lower the cups of her bra, exposing the pink peeks of her breast. "These... I'll never get enough of these." My mouth waters at just the sight of her tits. They're perfect and perky and just right.

I touch them and tease them until she's writhing underneath me, grinding against my dick, and telling me she can't stand it anymore and that she wants me inside her.

I smile against her skin and stand by the bed. I watch as she takes off her top and bra, throwing them across the room. Smirking, she then shimmies out of the rest of her clothes as she watches me do the same. We never got to be completely naked before. This is new, and I like it.

I take her in, all of her as she lies there, bare and glistening for me. "You're so beautiful," I whisper against her skin as I kneel between her parted thighs. She's open and waiting. So patient and always ready. "I want to taste you," I whisper breathily, inhaling the skin on her inner thigh and leaving a wet kiss behind.

"Please... I need you." That sound, what she's telling me... she needs me... it gets me going every time.

I kiss her pubic bone and flick my tongue over her center as she writhes and squeals under my ministrations. It doesn't take very long before my name falls off her lips. _My_ name. Nobody else's. _Mine_. She's _mine_.

And I show her she's mine. Kissing my way up her body, she cradles me between her thighs, and lines me up with her. She's slick and warm around me. It's the best feeling. So tight when I push into her.

She feels amazing under me, over me, kissing me, and getting lost in me, as I get lost in her.

My name rolls of her lips over and over again in a breathy whisper, as our bodies find that perfect rhythm that works for us, pushing, pulling, taking, wanting, and most of all needing.

I need her just as she needs me.

And when we both fall apart, that feeling - of two gentle souls finding each other in the midst of it all - it consumes us both.

"Have I mentioned I love your bed," she sighs when I pull her against me, tangling our legs together.

I smirk. "Amongst other things, yes." I believe her exact words were along the lines of: I love your mouth, I love your tongue, and my favorite, I love your cock.

"Yes, well... that was... yeah." She grins and kisses my cheek.

Before finding her, I was drowning, not knowing, or caring about where life would take me as long as it was away from here. Right now, in this moment, I don't care where I end up, as long as she's by my side.

"I love you, Bella." I kiss her deeply, slipping my tongue inside her mouth and finding hers as she sighs and relaxes against me.

Pulling back, she examines my face briefly before replying, "I love you too, Edward. Always."

…

Always. Always like this. Always with him.

THE END

* * *

**Thank you so much for the reviews, recs, and wonderful words of encouragement. It's very much appreciated. Writing for you guys, and knowing you enjoy my words, is all a writer ever needs. :o)**

**Also, I couldn't have done this without Joey, who constantly holds my hand and encourages my crazy; Jen, who made sure my typos, ellipses, and commas made sense; and Scrimmy, because she saw something in me nobody else did way back when I thought I'd never write another word again. You girls are awesome, and I can't thank you enough. :oD**

**xox**

**Missy**


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